I'm a Total Loser Because...

September 19, 2019

I have been working for the temp agencies for years because I can't hold a regular job. And I'm 33 years old. Every regular job I've had I've been fired from. Mostly this is due to behavior related to lack of sleep. The only hours I can work are from 3-11 p.m., but few jobs seem to offer that on a consistent schedule. They might have you working nights but they also have you work a few days too, and I can't do that. I always have to work from 3-11 p.m. or I get very sick and sleep deprived. At one of my day jobs I survived on 3 hours of sleep a night for three weeks. I started to feel like I was getting brain damage from lack of sleep. I began stuttering and was unable to speak, slurring my words. I was recently fired from a day job, for the 13th time. So I am back at the temp agency again. But the temp agency isn't offering that much work right now, except one graveshift cleaning job once a week. So I harldy have any money. My car broke down and will cost $1,000 to fix but I only have $500 and winter is coming. I live in a tiny, cramped one bedroom apartment. And because of brain damage from lack of sleep right now, I feel extremely flattened out and I am only able to connect or communicate with friends who also have a mood disorder and live a low-level life. I have to ride the train for hours to see these friends because of the no car situation. I also have to ride the train for hours to get to work and to bum rides from coworkers. Sometimes I am almost left stranded with no way home and I have to bribe or pay people to take me home or take an Uber. But I am sleeping better now. Now that I don't have much of a job, just a vague night job that pays me enough money to keep up with my utility bills and to go to the movies with my boyfriend once a week. I am panicked about the no car situation and winter coming up. I need to find a longer term temp job. I am on SSI for my sleep difficulties as it is a legitimate disability, so my income is limited. I do what I can to make more money because nobody can survive on SSI. 

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August 13, 2019

has anyone killed themselves yet

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August 30, 2018

And why shouldn't it be me? I'm awful at sports, both participating and conversing. Skill-less. I have 200 coworkers who are all fucking Olympians. They live and breathe that shit. I'm unable to hold a simple sports conversation. Can't throw a football or shoot hoops. No volleyball or even dodgeball. Whether they intend to make me feel this way or not (and I think they do) I feel like an inept turd. Our real jobs are to sit at our desks and crunch numbers, so sports shouldn't figure into it but even the owners look at me with disdain like I was a poor hiring decision.

Then you oughta hear the way they talk about "awkward" people (and yes you better believe I've been lumped in that bucket). Being awkward is unforgiveable and you don't get second chances.

I lose out on being picked up on jobs because of these things. I've tried being outgoing but it always blows up in my face so I reverted to being quiet and sulky which also doesn't help. Just can't win.

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August 27, 2018

I've been posting on this site since 2015, and I am still a loser.  Sometimes, when I feel like i'm about to win, i end up losing.  It makes me so sad sometimes. It's been 7 years since I've been on my job, and I haven't gotten a promotion.  That's because I am 2 stupid to do my job well.  Isn't that pathetic!!!! What a fucking loser my mother raised.  Sometimes, it really makes me sad knowing how dumb I am.  Also, my true love will never love me.  It breaks my heart knowing that he will never love me!!!! He thinks I am ugly, but he won't tell me to my face because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings.  Why can't I win? Why can't I win at least once?? Why?? Why?? Why?? Everyday, I have to hide from people laughing and making fun of me.  Why are people so mean?? Why can't people be nice sometimes?? My heart is really breaking!!! I AM SO FUCKING PATHETIC!!!!! What a loser my mother brought into this world!!!! FUCKING WASTE!!!!!!

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August 24, 2018

for you 6 losers out there who actually read this shit, here's a jacking off update. 17 days with no porn and i'm depressed as shit

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August 18, 2018


I never thought I would get to a point where I decided I should permanently cease jacking off. Jacking off is a part of who I am and that is the problem. I am a disgusting person when I step away and look at myself, and unwilling to change the parts that are most undesirable.

I am hooked on porn. I finally say it for what it is: an addiction no different than to drugs.

I’m at risk for relapse but so far (10 days) am strong. If what they say about recovery is true, that the desire never goes away completely, then I’ll always have a component of misery but I can work on enhancing my non-misery components.

I’m at risk for sounding like I’m prematurely enlightened; however, at this point in my life I know that things can always get better and they can always get worse. Any enlightenment I share here comes with a full dose of knowledge that I’m only a person and my mind could change at any time. I might lose control just from one trigger, one suggestive movie or incident that others would find innocuous, which would send me back to day 0 and no hope.

Jacking off is/was how I deal with any kind of stress or boredom. In high school I would spend whole weekends locked in my room in a porn fest. I was either good at hiding it or [more likely] my parents decided it was something they’d rather not address. I dedicated ~3 hours per school night and 20+ hours per weekend to collecting and watching porn. That dedication now, much later, is 1-2 hours per day EVERY day.

I hung out with the smart kids and in retrospect have decided I was considered the dumbest of the smart kids. Strangely that’s how I always felt too. In my job, now, that perception of myself is unchanged. There’s something I don’t have that the high achievers do: 1-2 hours per day to dedicate to enhancement not wasted on porn and jacking off?

Since it’s been less than 2 weeks since I made this decision, the porn force is strong within me. I’m constantly thinking about porn and how much I want to give in to it. It’s such a sweet release to see some young eager ho putting her stuff out there and begging to get nailed, then watching her take it in spread eagle while her supple soft-skinned tits flail in all directions, then watching the “come inside,” then watching the stuff drip out while she just lies there being thankful for the pounding she just got. While I’ve had a couple of real girlfriends who mimicked that ho behavior, and it was incredibly hot, I’m now looking for something more real, less temporary, more stable, more trustworthy. I’m starting to respect the people who got married in their early twenties. I wonder if the smart people around me have always known masturbation is a sin, not in a religious sense, but in the sense that it leads to an unstable, unwholesome life, and that is why I am trash and they are high achievers.

I also wonder how obvious it is to people who barely know me that I have this habit. A single guy who lives alone for years, not too eager to marry, dates a series of hot but shallow babes, and whose life and thoughts are in nonstop disarray. A guy who is somewhat functional but just can’t make it over the bump to the next level.

I’ve moved in and out of other habits through the years: primarily alcohol, oh and that medication thing (finally off of it going on 3 months!). I’ve put jacking off on hold a few times before but never with the intention of not going back. The longest I went was 3 weeks and I was proud of that “accomplishment.” If I can manage to pull this goal off, I think it’ll be an accomplishment I can truly be proud of.

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August 13, 2018

Im The World's biggest Loser and im a total waste of space....

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  1. Daaave Daaave said: You need to give reasons why you are a loser. Give an explanation.

Loser of the Week
June 4, 2018

It's been four years I logged in and I am at the same place dealing with different problems It is shit, trying to change since born I fuck up everything good .I have decided to kill myself soon. I do simple things wrong usually forget what I went to buy and I even fail to live in this world

I soon am going to quit.i am fed up with my life.

  1. LexLoser LexLoser said: I'm very forgetful as well mate. If you haven't done anything drastic yet, but me up on Synthstigater@gmail.com
  2. LexLoser LexLoser thinks you're a loser

May 20, 2018

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May 17, 2018

Every since I graduated high school and started college, I started to feel lonely and sad more often. Despite the fact I always had lack of self-confidence in myself, I been having it more after high school. My conclusion has come to the fact that I am a loser, not any loser, a cowardly loser.