August 8, 2017

I don't feel like going through everything as that depth of reflection makes me feel pretty sick, so I'll just brush the surface.

I'm over 30 and still living at home. Haven't dated in 7 years, or had any sexual contact in that time. The closest I get is when there's a sharp turn on the crowded bus I take to my dead end job. I do manual labour, at least that's what I tell anyone who asks, but what I really do is put things in boxes.

I have 0 friends. literally no one. I don't talk to my parents that much since everytime I do, I can see the disappointment on their faces.

I'm trying to get it together by going to school but from what I hear from the people that took the program, I'll end up at a help desk, helping people turn on their computers. I guess that's a step up or more like lateral movement.

I never thought I would be successful but I didn't think I would be a failure. I'm going to stop now, I feel sick.