I'm a total loser because:



I have been working for the temp agencies for years because I can't hold a regular job. And I'm 33 years old. Every regular job I've had I've been fired from. Mostly this is due to behavior related to lack of sleep. The only hours I can work are from 3-11 p.m., but few jobs seem to offer that on a consistent schedule. They might have you working nights but they also have you work a few days too, and I can't do that. I always have to work from 3-11 p.m. or I get very sick and sleep deprived. At one of my day jobs I survived on 3 hours of sleep a night for three weeks. I started to feel like I was getting brain damage from lack of sleep. I began stuttering and was unable to speak, slurring my words. I was recently fired from a day job, for the 13th time. So I am back at the temp agency again. But the temp agency isn't offering that much work right now, except one graveshift cleaning job once a week. So I harldy have any money. My car broke down and will cost $1,000 to fix but I only have $500 and winter is coming. I live in a tiny, cramped one bedroom apartment. And because of brain damage from lack of sleep right now, I feel extremely flattened out and I am only able to connect or communicate with friends who also have a mood disorder and live a low-level life. I have to ride the train for hours to see these friends because of the no car situation. I also have to ride the train for hours to get to work and to bum rides from coworkers. Sometimes I am almost left stranded with no way home and I have to bribe or pay people to take me home or take an Uber. But I am sleeping better now. Now that I don't have much of a job, just a vague night job that pays me enough money to keep up with my utility bills and to go to the movies with my boyfriend once a week. I am panicked about the no car situation and winter coming up. I need to find a longer term temp job. I am on SSI for my sleep difficulties as it is a legitimate disability, so my income is limited. I do what I can to make more money because nobody can survive on SSI. 

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