March 17, 2013

LOl its like THE BIGGEST achievement of my life. Although to be fair life isnt always THAT bad. SOmetimes Orion cuts me some slack. I met HER yesterday. We kinda get along though I still have some doubts wherever she will ever take me seriously. Im also planing to do some experiment with Japanese training system called KAATSU (!). God I love those japanese. Theyre badasses! Wish I was japanese named TAKAYUKI SUZUKI or something like that. I would be martial artist, wear M65 jacket, ride my bike, and when I get angry I would run all the way to the ocean and scream some MANLY stuff, like ORAJEVO!!! Lol i really need that jacket. Maybe I should look at Ebay? I also feel kinda outcast because I dont smoke, and nearly EVERYONE I know smokes. Even HER.  I feel the urge to preach her about it, but it would kill all my chances because NOBODY LIKES PREACHING LOL. Although I would like to try cigar because its like BADASS. Know I listen to a song WINNING MAN by superb band KROKUS and it kinda gives me hope. Man I love music. I dont watch movies or play much videogames, but do I like music. I usually listen to bands that no young man would listen, like Rush, Faith No More, Saga, Triumph, King's X, Queensryche, April Wine, Crosby Stills and Nash (yeah Im wimp), Moody Blues (man Im really wimp), Genesis (perhaps surprisingly Phil's era really grown on me), King Crimson, Yes, Thin Lizzy, Kiss (guilty pleasure if theres one), and many more. Some overrated bands I cant stand: Bruce Spreengteen (hypocrite pseudo-realistic jerk), ACDC (BOORING mysogynistic losers), Bon Jovi (pure shit),  Nirvana (MOOOOOO), Oasis (bunch of twats). I also like growing beard and/or moustache. My family usually ridicule me but I dont care. Its like a big FU to the world. Although usually I prefer that Sonny Crockett style stubble. Man I used to love those shows A-Team Miami Vice Magnum and the like. I should been born 10 years earlier to live in 80's. The only alcohol that I seems to enjoy nowadays is red wine because its like you know CLASSY. Theres also 2 asshole brothers who ruined my childhood and life. Man I would like to kick both their asses. Fucking twats. I sometimes dream how I would pour some gasoline over them, when take a lighter and look in their eyes. What would I see? Fear? Anger? Regret? BURN MOTHEFUCKER BURN. And I just noticed that my legs is like really huge and ripped, probably due to all that sprinting I've done over years.  

March 9, 2013

Tomorrow I have another 24 hours shift with Mr. Im-such-a-jerk-boss. Why cant he just get cancer and die?

Loser of the Week
March 8, 2013

All my life is shit. I have chronic depression for about 10 years, with lots of mood swings. My self-esteem is below zero. Nobody ever takes me seriously. I often feel like coming across as to naive. I dont have any friends. I used to have one best friend but he ditched me like some whore. I am still virgin at 23. I dont know how behave around girls and they NEVER take me seriously, sometimes putting me into a "friends zone". I recently once again fell in love with one girl. I try to impress her however I can, yet i still feel that she will never look at me as more than a friend. And it annoys me to no end. Why anyone can't love me? I'm really descent guy, very romantic and could never be unfaithful to my lady. YET NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE! Girls prefer idiots who dont respect them and treat them like shit. I also should add that im VERY ugly, and not in charismatic way (think Danny Trejo), but just plain boring ugly. My voice is really fucked up, I sound like a total loser and retard even while I try to say something smart. My sense of humour is very off-beat, and one seems to get it. Im also in quite poor shape, even if I work out (i prefer word train) like obsessed. This is one of the few positives in my life. Training usually gives me some sense of purpose and just plain badass-esque feel. I especially like running hill sprints. They merge everything I like: sense of freedom, self-importance, constant improvement, never giving up etc. After the session of HS I (atleast temporaly) feel like badass, like NOT a loser. Unfortunetaly, all my training seems to be in vain since Im still quite fat, although it has more to do with poor eating habits and depressed state. I tried to avoid junk food yet often fall off the wagon. Im also becoming a kind of alcoholic. I drink everything: beer, wine, whisky, vodka etc. I always drink on my own because I dont have anyone with whom I could feel safe to drink. I also have attention deficit disorder, OCD, Im kinda paranoid and coward, and STALKER, oh shit if Im not one. When I fall in love with girl I constantly stalk her, trying to see her as often as possible, and usually to afraid to speak with her. The only exception is my recent love interest. I got a few surprising opportunities to talk with her PERSONALLY. It may well be main reason I felt for her. However then theres someone else around I become to shy and kinda lost. And opportunities to talk with her is kinda rare, and it very sad when she just go away leaving me brooding alone. Man life sucks. My family are bunch of hypocrites and commies, constantly preaching about their "values". I also have problems with identifying myself. I often identify with some (non)fictional characters and try to see myself like I am them (lol). I know its plain stupid, but I just cant help myself. I usually can only feel better then identifying with someone, otherwise i feel lost. Even bigger problem is that I cant make my mind with whom to identify. Im not sure if I want to be suave and sophisticated, or blunt and agressive. Some of my favorite idols: soccer player Eric Cantona, Marco Materazzi, Joe Barton, Frank Leboef; musicians Dug Pinnick, Henry Rollins, Danzig, Ty Tabor, Phil Collins (LOL Im actually look A LOT like him), american football players Jerry Rice, Walter Payton, Herschel Walker (all famous hill sprinters); fitness gurus Matt Furey, Jason Ferruggia, anime heroes Kensei Muguruma, Chad Yasutora Sado, Ichigo Kurosaki (bleach); Roronoa Zoro and Sanji from One Piece; Trunks, Vegeta, Piccolo, Yamcha, Tenshinhan from DBZ; most of Jagged Alliance 2 cast, Charles Gunn, Spike and Wesley from ANGEL the series; Francis York Morgan (Deadly Premonition); Paul Phoenix, Marshall Law and Steve Fox from Tekken; Shio Sakaki, Berserker, Odin and Hermit (Kenichi); and many, many more. Also my boss sucks, hes like the biggest asshole in the world. Well Im tired of writing. LOL. MY LIFE SUCKS!!!!

  1. Superloser Superloser said: Why would I lie to her? First you've got your genders crossed, he's a he. Second. You want to marry this person you've never met on a chat for losers all on vague words. You sir, are a loser... and also oblivious to that it's a guy. But i forgives you :P
  2. Larryblack Larryblack thinks you're a loser
  3. WeeZappa WeeZappa said: SUperloser - what I should lie to her? I really like her and want to marry her.
  4. WeeZappa WeeZappa said: arashk - You're actually right! I thought about suicide so many times yet always back down because Im afraid. If only I knew there''s something better out there I would instantly drink a bottle of sleep pills and vodka :D
  5. arashk arashk said: why dont u kill yourself and release from this misrable life? do u scared? have no balls to even drink a poisen feel nothing ...and the u r free... but u r nothing but a coward....
  6. Superloser Superloser said: Girls like winners. A winner is a guy that tells a girl what she wants to hear. Start lying to her to get her attention. Girls will take anyone so stop pretending you're special. Honesty goes nowhere because "girls" want a fantasy. Humans suck, loser :)