I'm a total loser because:

Loser of the Week
August 25, 2011

Being a small, agile athlete was the reason I was picked to play the running back for our Powder-Puff football team during Junior-Senior War Week in high school.

I practiced for weeks, memorized plays, and was pumped for the game.

Game day.  The stands were packed.  Our flags were fastened.  Our cheerleaders were screaming.

Note: Guys should NEVER wear cheer outfits. Ever.

We, the under-dog Juniors, came out fighting.  We were making plays and scoring points.

The end of the game was creeping up on us.  We were down and needed to score.

"Give me the ball", I told our quarterback.

On a dive-right, the quarterback handed off the ball and I tore through the line.  I made it just inched from the goal line and hear the crowd cheer!  I turn around and walk back to the huddle as the crowd continues to yell.  The cheering is pumping me up.  I want to keep playing.  The time is ticking and we need to score.

Is that laughter? Is the crowd laughing?

I see my team mates running toward me and my coach taking his shirt off from the sidelines and running toward me.

What is going on?

Someone in the distance yells, "YOUR ASS!!"

I reach back to feel that more than just my flag was pulled.  My spandex volleyball shorts were ripped from the top seam to the bottom seam in the crotch.  There, displayed for the entire school of thousands were my bare ass cheeks.

I am frozen in the middle of the field as my coach reaches me and wraps his shirt around my waist.

He may have covered me in that moment, but the damage was already done.

The best part was getting to look the principal in the face for the rest of my high school career. He was the referee.

  1. SamigHOURI SamigHOURI thinks you're a loser
  2. Minusdude Minusdude said: Well it is pretty embarrassing but this one thing doesn't make you a loser. If anybody makes fun of it, they probably just don't want to admit how much they wanted your ass.
  3. Thace12 Thace12 said: your a fucking weirdow like foreal shut the fuck up!Dumb bitch!!!
  4. timbalanced timbalanced thinks you're a loser