Posts tagged with "depressed"

May 4, 2015

I Have Nothing Going For Me

Hello, I'm a 20 year old female with no future. Just to summarize, I have been dropped from 2 colleges. One being a community college and the other a technical school. All you need to do to get into those schools is to graduate high school. That's how easy they are and I couldn't even keep my pathetic self together to complete those. I have no job and I still live with my mother and grandmother who both think I'm a failure anyways. I used to get straight As, but now I can't even get myself to show up to class. I don't know what interests me. I don't think anything does. I also don't know how to drive and don't have a license so I have to walk everywhere or get my mother to drive me. I'm so useless. I do have a boyfriend, but I'm so fat and ugly, I don't think I've ever NOT seen him check out any woman that walks his way. I can't make any man love me for me instead of spreading my legs to them. I don't really know what love is or how to act. I sit in my room and sleep about 16 hours a day and just stare at the wall or watch t.v. the other 8 hours. I have no friends because they all go out drinking or partying and I have no money or a car and they think I am boring so I obviously get left behind. When asking anyone to help me or just listen to me they just sit there, listen, nod, and change the subject. Maybe I just complain too much. I am a pitiful loser after all. When asking my mother if there is any chance I might have bipolar disorder or depression she replies with "no, you just complain a lot. get a hobby" I think she is right. Here, at home, I am not really aloud to leave. I am, but I will be ignored an "forgotten" if I do so. I am to be home every night to have the kitchen, dining room, and my room cleaned. I must also have dishes for 6 people washed all night and the fridge emptied every night. I do as I am told because it's the only time I get any compliments from them... if I am lucky. Cleaning for them is all I am good at.

  1. loserguy loserguy said: But my music is to real for the public I barely get views and also for some reason, women get intimidated or lose interest right away. Idk what it is. I guess I am to real. I don't play games. Women love games. Oh well hey I have myself. Im my best friend
  2. loserguy loserguy said: Hey at least your fat. I am a good looking guy. Fit, sexy body and very fun and funny but I still don't have a gf and get no pussy. I also don't ebven have a highschool diploma. I fail constantly. I'm also an amazing producer great musician
  3. LexLoser LexLoser said: I don't know about you but I could definitely do with someone to talk to. If youre interested hit me up.

November 22, 2014

But wait, there's more!

I'm a total loser cuz I've been a loser my whole fucking life.

In grade 5 I gave up on good grades. Grade 5! That's not an age to be making any decision but I did!

In grade 10 I gave up on going to school, resulting in me being kicked out of my catholic all-girls shithole in my graduating year. I then had to go to an alternative school, which I also skipped 90% of the time. Just cuz anxiety. This resulted in me taking online classes to get my diploma.

But wait!

I'm not even sure if I got my diploma! Because I'm too anxious to call the school board and have them send it to me! And if I don't have my diploma, I'm only one credit away. So close! But too far away for me cuz I make no attempt. I'm literally one foot away from the finish line but it's too much work. Just call me Mrs. TotalShitheadLoser von AnxietyandDepression.

But wait!

I was stupid enough as a preteen to think the only thing that mattered was boys and sex. Guess what was the only thing I cared about as a teenager? YEP!

At 17 I got my first boyfriend (whose still my boyfriend), lost my virginity, and at the same time I got into weed and other drugs, but those only recreationally.

Wow! Sounds like I'm a partier. At least I'm not a total loser-


I barely leave the house. Just cuz anxiety and depression.

I want to get help for my anxiety and depression, but I'm too nervous to talk to anyone cuz of anxiety and depression.

Since I was 17 all I have done is fuck my boyfriend and smoke a whole shitload of weed. No job. No school. I did some travelling and some chilling with friends but nothing of significance and nothing I personally worked towards.


I want to die.

At this point I have lost all hope for myself. Because even though I DO want to work for things, and even though I DO think I can accomplish things, I just don't.

Why? I dunno. Anxiety and low self esteem plays a HUUUUUUUUUGE role, but I've been like this before I was aware anxiety and depression existed so I've either always had it, or I've just been a FUCK my whole life.

Ohyah, and of course I play video games too. It's the only thing I do besides read books n NOT do anything.

I am a waste of life.

I don't deserve this body. I'm just letting it age and rot and I do nothing with it.

I'm an atheist but if God exists, I am so sorry I let this gift go to waste. You do not know the remorse I feel.

Here is a list of ALL my accomplishments, since I was born:

  • graduated elementary school
  • was part of the popular crowd in elementary school (the fact this is on this list says a lot).
  • wrote a fanfiction that got over 500 reviews. 
  • got a boyfriend.
  • lost weight / random guys began hitting on me. (Wow such accomplishment -_-; )
  • Got a couple job interviews (never got a job).
  • Travelled to Cuba (boyfriend's dad paid for it).
  • Got my Driver's License.


  1. bigstupidpooper bigstupidpooper said: an excuse to not get out and do WHATEVER it is you think you should be doing, e.g. get a job. Guess what, once you have a job that problem pretty much disappears.
  2. bigstupidpooper bigstupidpooper said: Kinda sounds like you like being a loser. If you wanted to stop being a loser, I'll suggest these first steps: kick all smoking bye-bye. You're using it as a crutch. Even though you're anxious and depressed, you're really quick to use anxiety/depression..
  3. bigstupidpooper bigstupidpooper thinks you're a loser

October 16, 2014

i'm a total loser because...

1. my friends insult me everytime, they just try to pull me down.

2. my family thinks I am unable to do certain task.

3. I got cheated by my many people.

4. even children insult me for my looks.

5. authority thinks I am not a fit person to perform certain task.

Due to above metioned reasons, --> my life has become a hell for me. I am unable to handle this. I am losing my self confidence. I am not able to focus on a particular task. My skills are degraded. I am losing my contacts (my good relations). I tried to rewire my brain by doing meditation, but it's not working. Because my life present status has ruined my future already.  

August 7, 2014

Everything started out ok. Not perfect, but ok. My father left shortly after my birth. We were poor. VERY poor, by U.S.A standards. But I was very pretty, and had a good mother and great loving grandparents.

Then sh!t got real.

I can't for the life of me figure out why, but starting in 8th grade, I began to be hated and bullied by my peers. I'd always been bullied off and on by ugly girls, but that year was different. Everyone hated me. I have always had a pretty healthy self esteem, not conceited, but not down on myself. I believe that is because of the love and support I got from my mom & grandparents, but a life of being beat down has shaken me. I found that I am roundly disliked, I cannot figure out why. I've asked the few friends I have made, they say they can't figure it out either. School got so bad that I eventually quit, on the advice of my principle & my mother too.

The years went by, & here I am, a middle aged woman. Fragile health, so I cannot work or drive, no man after 2 failed marriages, the second worse than the first,... and that's saying something. Hardly any friends & the few I have live far from me. You know I never was good at making friends, but it gets even harder the older you get, & not working but staying home because I'm sick all the time doesn't help. I don't have any social anxiety, I'm not shy. I'm a loyal friend,  have been told I'm very funny. So why am I so disliked? Why am I so alone? Why were all the men in my life horrible nightmares?

Disability is a pittance. I live on $700. a month. Imagine that.

My once good looks are long gone. I'm old and fat now, and look as sick and disabled as I am. I live alone, suffer major depression that frightens me at times. They say everyone has their ups & downs, but I seem to only have downs. As bad as the present is, the future looks worse. I have nothing to look forward to but getting older and sicker, living in poverty, then dying alone.

It's not worth getting up in the morning.

  1. weaknoob weaknoob said: Youre a good person so atleast you have good karma and will go to heaven. Im an idiot who wasted my life

May 25, 2014
I am depressed. I have been for a few years now. Recently I haven't been able to breathe correctly anymore. It's as though I can't get enough air into my lungs. I blame this on the anxiety I have because of my depression. I know I need to see a counselor but I don't want my mother to know( I live with her ). I don't like to do anything. I hate school and my job. I am starting to hate my men to the point that I fear them. I have so much anxiety around men because I know the damage they can inflict upon my gender. I hate men. But I don't. I just don't trust them. I have never had an orgasm during sex. Though I've only had sex with one person, so it makes sense. I was a virgin til I was 19. Isn't that so old? I have figured out that what I want in a relationship isn't okay anymore. Not in this century. Heck not even towards the end of the last century. And it depresses me because I don't think I will be happy without it. Apparently I'm really fucked up. I am pretty so I've never had to work at anything. I have bad grades and bad work ethic. I constantly think a about death. And yet I want to live still. I have low self esteem so sorry about these random thought that I think about all the time. :/

  1. rl1111 rl1111 said: I feel the same I think about death an shit to all the time an I am totally alone

November 16, 2013

I'm 18 years old, I left highschool in the middle of 9th grade in 2010 to be homeschooled and that's the highest level of education I have. I decided to get my GED but there is no openings for the test so I have to wait till January and that means I can't go to community college next semester like I planned.. So that's even more time that I have to sit around and do nothing with my life. My dad owns an electrical buisness and he lets me work for him so I have a job which i'm thankful for but, I can't even wake up in the morning to go with him because I am extremely lazy.. he used to try and wake me up but I'm so damn stubburn he just gave up. I have NO friends anymore, I have no one. My girlfriend that I met on vacation and we ended up being long distance for a few months recently broke up with me beacause I put no effort in the relationship. I don't even blame her, I suck. I just want to fix all of this.. I feel like I have never made my parents proud and I hate to see them so dissapointed in me. Now they are actually starting to call me a loser to my face because all I have been doing the past few weeks is sleeping all day and playing video games.. I just feel depressed. They keep threatening to kick me out and I'm scared that they might do it one day. I'm motivated to change but I just don't know how to get out of this seems to be never ending road i'm on. I have so many big plans but everything always seems to get screwed up somehow. I really do hate myself, I honestly wish I had the balls to kill myself. I feel like a waste of life. If I'm not a loser, then I don't know what is.

  1. tertoen tertoen said: You just study hard for the GED and make it to college. Just be patient, once you get in you will make friends and your life will turn around. Your parents love you and you have a debt to pay back to them, so do it by studying hard.