Posts tagged with "failure"

November 22, 2014

But wait, there's more!

I'm a total loser cuz I've been a loser my whole fucking life.

In grade 5 I gave up on good grades. Grade 5! That's not an age to be making any decision but I did!

In grade 10 I gave up on going to school, resulting in me being kicked out of my catholic all-girls shithole in my graduating year. I then had to go to an alternative school, which I also skipped 90% of the time. Just cuz anxiety. This resulted in me taking online classes to get my diploma.

But wait!

I'm not even sure if I got my diploma! Because I'm too anxious to call the school board and have them send it to me! And if I don't have my diploma, I'm only one credit away. So close! But too far away for me cuz I make no attempt. I'm literally one foot away from the finish line but it's too much work. Just call me Mrs. TotalShitheadLoser von AnxietyandDepression.

But wait!

I was stupid enough as a preteen to think the only thing that mattered was boys and sex. Guess what was the only thing I cared about as a teenager? YEP!

At 17 I got my first boyfriend (whose still my boyfriend), lost my virginity, and at the same time I got into weed and other drugs, but those only recreationally.

Wow! Sounds like I'm a partier. At least I'm not a total loser-


I barely leave the house. Just cuz anxiety and depression.

I want to get help for my anxiety and depression, but I'm too nervous to talk to anyone cuz of anxiety and depression.

Since I was 17 all I have done is fuck my boyfriend and smoke a whole shitload of weed. No job. No school. I did some travelling and some chilling with friends but nothing of significance and nothing I personally worked towards.


I want to die.

At this point I have lost all hope for myself. Because even though I DO want to work for things, and even though I DO think I can accomplish things, I just don't.

Why? I dunno. Anxiety and low self esteem plays a HUUUUUUUUUGE role, but I've been like this before I was aware anxiety and depression existed so I've either always had it, or I've just been a FUCK my whole life.

Ohyah, and of course I play video games too. It's the only thing I do besides read books n NOT do anything.

I am a waste of life.

I don't deserve this body. I'm just letting it age and rot and I do nothing with it.

I'm an atheist but if God exists, I am so sorry I let this gift go to waste. You do not know the remorse I feel.

Here is a list of ALL my accomplishments, since I was born:

  • graduated elementary school
  • was part of the popular crowd in elementary school (the fact this is on this list says a lot).
  • wrote a fanfiction that got over 500 reviews. 
  • got a boyfriend.
  • lost weight / random guys began hitting on me. (Wow such accomplishment -_-; )
  • Got a couple job interviews (never got a job).
  • Travelled to Cuba (boyfriend's dad paid for it).
  • Got my Driver's License.


  1. bigstupidpooper bigstupidpooper said: an excuse to not get out and do WHATEVER it is you think you should be doing, e.g. get a job. Guess what, once you have a job that problem pretty much disappears.
  2. bigstupidpooper bigstupidpooper said: Kinda sounds like you like being a loser. If you wanted to stop being a loser, I'll suggest these first steps: kick all smoking bye-bye. You're using it as a crutch. Even though you're anxious and depressed, you're really quick to use anxiety/depression..
  3. bigstupidpooper bigstupidpooper thinks you're a loser

August 7, 2014

Everything started out ok. Not perfect, but ok. My father left shortly after my birth. We were poor. VERY poor, by U.S.A standards. But I was very pretty, and had a good mother and great loving grandparents.

Then sh!t got real.

I can't for the life of me figure out why, but starting in 8th grade, I began to be hated and bullied by my peers. I'd always been bullied off and on by ugly girls, but that year was different. Everyone hated me. I have always had a pretty healthy self esteem, not conceited, but not down on myself. I believe that is because of the love and support I got from my mom & grandparents, but a life of being beat down has shaken me. I found that I am roundly disliked, I cannot figure out why. I've asked the few friends I have made, they say they can't figure it out either. School got so bad that I eventually quit, on the advice of my principle & my mother too.

The years went by, & here I am, a middle aged woman. Fragile health, so I cannot work or drive, no man after 2 failed marriages, the second worse than the first,... and that's saying something. Hardly any friends & the few I have live far from me. You know I never was good at making friends, but it gets even harder the older you get, & not working but staying home because I'm sick all the time doesn't help. I don't have any social anxiety, I'm not shy. I'm a loyal friend,  have been told I'm very funny. So why am I so disliked? Why am I so alone? Why were all the men in my life horrible nightmares?

Disability is a pittance. I live on $700. a month. Imagine that.

My once good looks are long gone. I'm old and fat now, and look as sick and disabled as I am. I live alone, suffer major depression that frightens me at times. They say everyone has their ups & downs, but I seem to only have downs. As bad as the present is, the future looks worse. I have nothing to look forward to but getting older and sicker, living in poverty, then dying alone.

It's not worth getting up in the morning.

  1. weaknoob weaknoob said: Youre a good person so atleast you have good karma and will go to heaven. Im an idiot who wasted my life

May 22, 2014

23. Perpetually single. Failed college. TWICE.

No friends, no acquaintances. Never even held a girl's hand, never got invited to parties, never done the things other people my age have long since done.

Four years of college and my social skills haven't improved.

Was bullied at school.

Moving back in with my parents in a week.

No job.

No internships.

No life.

No plan, no hobbies.

No ambitions.

No hope.

Such a waste of life.

I'm such a loser I'm writing this post at 2:15am when I have my last and final university exam tomorrow at 9:30am. I'll most likely fail, as I haven't studied enough over the year.

  1. astonf1 astonf1 said: im sorry to hear this, ur life is a copy of mine, try to change things around , if you wanna talk add me on my fb account , u have nothing to lose, it's bad already
  2. BatDumplings BatDumplings said: I know exactly how you feel. You can do it and move on. If you want more self esteem, go to mateusz m on youtube. He has motivational videos for all of us. Also, look up tim mcmorris, the world is yours. Good luck.

February 11, 2014

I had 10 good years and then it all went to shit. I've been in a fog for the last 25 years and, now that I'm married with a 4 year old child, I will have destroyed not only my life but the life of a beautiful woman and my beautiful son. 

I tried a different career and it was 15 years of misery and failure. 

I'm 51 and my wife and I have a total of $35k saved for our future. When I become infirmed I'm going to kill myself because there's no way I'm going to live in a home sitting in a shit filled diaper and being abused by the nurses and other patients. 

I'm trying to restart the career I had when i was younger and my wife is supporting us now. Barely. We lost our house during the financial collapse and now we rent a little house. She deserves better but I'm too lazy, stupid and sad to do anything about it. She's starting to look old and tired and it breaks my heart that I've ruined her. 

She was so pretty and sweet. Now she's on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds. I stopped taking mine because I couldn't afford them and they didn't work, anyway. She has medical coverage. I can't bear to tell her that I don't. 

I did what everyone said. I listened to what the people in charge told me. Now I realize how people just want to be left alone and will tell you anything to get you to go away so they can have fun with life's winners.

I have incredibly successful friends. Literal award winners. It used to be inspiring and give me hope. Now, looking at them is just a mirror with "you lose" written on it. I fucked it all up. I could've had a wonderful life but it went south. And I didn't *do* anything like take drugs or act like a shithead. It just stopped.

It's just a fog. The prospects in my future are so awful I can barely drag myself out of bed now. 

I'd kill myself, but I can't bear the humiliation and it would ruin my son even more. 

  1. manchild manchild said: So sorry, dude. It sounds like you have a good heart at least; I'm sure if you could do better by your wife and kids you would. Life is just shit sometimes.
  2. aloaqp aloaqp said: Well, you can move to Vietnam, Malaysia and Philipines with that 35k of savings. Send the money to a bank, earn interest and live comfortably there. Do some research. I am sure that is more than enough.

December 26, 2013



Tonight I drink.  I drink because the failure that I am experiencing stings really badly.  I have so much to be appreciative of.  I don’t have any physical ailments, right now my health is sustaining even though I'm starting to gain more weight but I have no illness.  My daughter is doing well in school and I helped to give her a great Christmas.

 I just can’t help to complain about my failures.  I started a business almost 4 years ago.  It makes no money.  I have changed my business plan three times with no prevail and now I contemplate dissolving it.  I can’t afford to get into a place where my daughter has her own room when she visits me.  After my Divorce I had one girlfriend and then another (NOT AT THE SAME TIME OF COURSE).  The first one betrayed me.  The second used me like a sanitary wipe and just discarded me. 

Today my car broke down and I had to lose a day from work.  I looked up that first girlfriend on facebook and she looks great.  She looks happy and like she is having fun and here I am not doing any better since her betrayal. Frankly there are folks who are doing way worse than me, hell some would say I am not doing badly at all.  I just feel like Sh#t, I’m lonely, non energetic and losing my way in life. 


So tonight I get drunk and wallow in my internal pain.  This drinks for you guys; I hope things get better for you, I hope things get better for us all.  Till then I will be right here, mayor of Loserville!   

  1. tertoen tertoen said: U r just feeling low. The life of people is not what it seems. virtually everyone seems to portray that they r having a wonderful life, but it is not so for many cases. Facebook and stuffs like that are vanity. Think of ur daughter and stay strong. GoodLk

November 25, 2013

Kind of just wasting oxygen really. I'm doing two semesters over because I failed a 3-year degree, so now it's a 4-year degree.

  • I have no money
  • My parents hate me for taking their money
  • I'm depressed and socially anxious
  • My meds don't really work
  • I sit in my dorm whilst people are partying in the commons room and can't join because I'll ruin their mood
  • I haven't had a proper conversation for over a year
  • I don't really know what to do with my life
  • Never had friends
  • Don't know how to make any
  • The opposite sex prettymuch ignores me, and if it didn't, I wouldn't know what to do
  • I'm failing my degree... FOR THE SECOND TIME
  • I have tons and tons of opportunities but can't make use of them because I fail socially
  • I sleep late and fail to get up to go to classes
  • I don't understand my classes when I go
  • I have an assignment due in 6 hours that was set 7 days ago and am using my time to write THIS incoherent loser post
  • I'm skinny and unfit
  • I'm overwhelmed with my whole situation

  1. EpicFaiLURE EpicFaiLURE said: im almost same as u .. but im 25

December 6, 2012

First time here, so please see me as nothing more than a BIG LOSER!!!

I was born in a fucked up country called El Salvador at the age of 5 i had my first fight and lost i was so afraid of fighting that many children started calling a sissy or pussy, that continued until i was like 15 years old every fight i had i was meant to be lost i had no girlfriend at that time but i had a crush for like 3 years with a girl that was on my class, i thought i could had a chance with her but then in my last year of high school she fall in love with other guy then i noticed that she had me on the friendzone for those 3 years i graduated with no honors people that called themselves my friends were always telling me that i was not man enough to have a girl, then the guy my crush fell in love with basically told me on facebook that she and her were together and happy, i was so mad that i planned to killed them but then i was like that myabe i wasn't man enough to do it, at the age of 17 i entered to college and started studying mechanical engineering but failed my first semester tried again a failed the next year my mom always made me feel that i was nothing but a failure and a useless piece of crap, that hurted but then at the third time i passed the subjects i had of my first semester, then now at age of 20 i'm failing again, then i think: 

  • I don't have a girlfriend
  • Shy personality since i was born
  • I can't get over my crush
  • I keep failing at college
  • I had sex only because my dad paid for it (a stupid tradition that says that if your son is 18-20 years old, and he's still a virgin, your dad must pay for sex)
  • My parents think im a failure, useless person, not worthy, pathetic
  • No friends at all!!
  • No hope for a relation in the future
  • Diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrom (google it, I won't say what it is)
  • I spend my day at the computer playing online
  • People tell im handsome but I CAN'T GET A MOTHERFUCKING GF!!!!!!
  • No social life at alll!!!
  • Planing on suicide (not man enough to cut my wrists)

With this in mind and maybe more i think: WHAT'S THE POINT ON LIVING?? I tried to suicide eating some pills but didn't work out only made me sleepy then my parents told me i was a fuking idiot for trying it, but what the fuck do they care???

I have like 2 years dealing with killing impulses almost killed a dog when i was feeling down about my life still dont know what to do, kill others or kill me tough one, if you have an answer please share!!!

I hate my life, im a loser and a failure, i dont deserve to live.....

I was meant to be a loser since the moment i came to this world, someone please shoot me!!!

  1. BlessedSelma BlessedSelma thinks you're a loser